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Knock it off already with the new variations of Coke

May 17, 2006

I think this country has enough variations of Coke to choose from at this point. The same argument can be made for competing beverage companies, but I’ll leave them out to avoid redundancy. Coke comes in every combination of regular, caffeine free, vanilla, cherry, lime, diet, Splenda, Zero, and something called II, which no one has ever tried. This “sequel” to Coke was about as necessary and popular as the release of “Look Who’s Talking Too.”

Assuming cocaine stays illegal, I don’t know what other additives they could possibly think of. We do not need this many versions, and the product line should be simplified down to two items:

Coke: For people who don’t care about their health.
Diet Coke: For people who don’t care about their health, but still want others to think that they do. (similar to people who smoke light cigarettes)
If you don’t like regular Coke, drink another soda. That’s why they invented Sprite.

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From → Food

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