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Paninis are a waste of yeast

July 3, 2006

Not since the conception of the taco salad as a healthy alternative to a taco, has an ingredient in a food item so obviously missed the original intention of the final product. The panini is a sandwich designed to be flat and warm, not unlike a sandwich that was recently backed over by a truck.

The silly thing is that paninis are made with bread that was specifically made with yeast so that it would rise, only so that it could be placed into a press that simulates the heat and impact of a moving tire, rendering its end state a “roadkill sandwich.” (Yeah, I coined that one. Tell your friends.)

If you want your bread product to conclude in a flat state, save a step, and don’t add yeast to it in the first place. Yeast is made of living organisms and it is an insult to each and every one of them to make their countless deaths purposeless by eating a pancake-flat sandwich. Show some respect.


From → Food

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