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Math teachers should focus on teaching kids to not forget their phones

October 19, 2012

Years ago, students sat in math class, learning how to perform long division or multiply fractions.  Every smart ass kid eventually asked the seemingly witty question: “Why do we need to learn to do this on paper when we can just use a calculator?”  The math teacher always satisfyingly responded: “Because you won’t always have a calculator on you.”  That used to be a reasonable response.

Now, times have changed, and if you’ve got a phone in your pocket, you’ve likely got a calculator.  A math teacher’s sole job is to adequately provide their students with the skills that they need to solvemath problems in the future.  What better way to do this than to reiterate how important it is to have your phone on you at all times?

Women, despite loving talking on phones more than men, still seem to forget their phone more often.  They use excuses like “My pants pockets are too small”…even though they carry around huge makeup sacks that have adequate space for a bowling ball.  These select women should have remedial training that includes remembering to pick up the phone when you move to another room in your house, as well as remembering your charger when you go on vacation.

Advanced math classes can incorporate lessons on battery prolongation techniques, such as lowering screen brightness or disabling bluetooth, to ensure that the phone is in full functional order at all times.  Screen protector application practice may also be trained to ensure that screen is clear and scratch-free for the proper and accurate displaying of numbers.  After the initial wave of changes, history teachers can be replaced by a 15 minute lesson on the importance of a reliable data plan, along with the functions of Wikipedia.

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From → Theories

2 Comments
  1. Robert Vukan permalink

    Next we can have history teachers teaching kids how to use wikipedia.

    • I agree, Rob. It’s almost as if I wrote that as the last sentence of my observation. (I did.) 🙂

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